Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
