Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
