Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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