Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
