Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
