So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
