She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
a search helicopter?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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