we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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