Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
