i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
