glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
