Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
