I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
