speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
