fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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