he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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