even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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