did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
