what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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