What a fucking waste of an outfit
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How naked do you want me to be?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
