If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
