I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
