We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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