I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
