Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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