How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
