Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
