Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I need help removing her.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
