you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
