Will you blow on my dice?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
