I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
