i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
