I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
