there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
