its not stalking. its research.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
