Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
