i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize