If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
