Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Someone shattered a urinal.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
