i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize