Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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