I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dick very happy bro
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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