benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
