It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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