well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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