you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
