I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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