maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
