I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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