Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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