I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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