I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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