He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
As shirtless as possible
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize