the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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