im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
