I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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