there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
