She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
