i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
