Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
