Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
