okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
