all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
