she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
