I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
