East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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