We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
