Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
