What did we do last night that was yellow?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize