I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
