I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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