you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
