The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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