well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
