So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
