false alarm. still invincible.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
