sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
