just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
