I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
